Monday, July 2, 2012

The good, the bad, and the beachy.

Some observations, some of a criminal nature, from the seaside.

1.  If you want to smoke on the beach and bugger up the sea air don't do it near me and my kids.  Especially when we got there first.

2.  If #1 applies to you, covering your cigarette butt with two inches of sand is still littering.

3.  The nearer they are to the ocean, the more some 7-year-old girls wish mermaids were real.

4.  Because every wave is different, every wave needs jumping over.

5.  Just because it says it's a "Dolphin Center," don't assume it has dolphins.  You may, however, assume it has videos of dolphins.  And if it's that kind of place, you should also know that "Suggested donation" is likely to mean "Mandatory entrance fee."

6.  A mansion one block from the beach has nothing on a hovel directly on the beach.

7.  The ten pounds I lost before this vacation have been picked up by other people.  Several people, and several fold.  I shouldn't be, but I am encouraged.

8.  Boogie boarding counts as exercise.  Especially on a red-flag day when the rip current is battering you like an egg in an omelette bowl.

9.   A rip current is not the same thing as a rip tide.

10.  It's a bad idea to take photos of your wife when she's boogie boarding and there's a rip current.  Turns out the forces of nature propel wife one way, and her bikini bottoms another.  Photographic confirmation of this phenomenon is scientifically relevant but maritally imprudent.

(No, that's not my wife.  I'm not stupid.)


  1. HILARIOUS!!!! My favorite is #4. I think there is some thinly veiled philosophical insight in that one.

  2. Thanks Lisa, I'm a secret philosef... filoseph... dude who knows stuff about the universe. ;)

  3. Hi, I don't know if I'm the right person to be talking to, but since I have an opportunity to talk to a person who's had courtroom experience, I'm not going to pass it up. I'm a fourteen-year old kid and I want to be a defense attorney. I know I have to take the LSAT (I think that's what it's called) and I have to pass the state bar exam. What I'd like to know, however, is what can I do now to prepare for my future? What kind of things should I be studying now? What sub-goals should I be setting? Those are the kinds of questions I need answers to. If you could get back to me, that would be great. Thank you.

  4. Hey Anon. My best advice would be to now sweat it for a few years. Honestly, keep your options open and make SURE that's what you want to do. I didn't become a lawyer until I was in my 30s. Late 30s. In the meantime, the best thing you can do is get good grades in school, and maybe try and get some work experience with a defense attorney or even a DA's office (though you may be a little young just yet). Again, don't focus in too much yet, but get good grades and keep all your options open. Good luck!

    1. Thanks for the advice. I have plenty of other options and I like the idea of helping and defending someone. I am sure that it is what I would like to do as an adult, but you have a point--I still have a lot ahead of me. I am getting good grades in school, and I read about law. A District Attorney office sounds pretty nice but, I probably am too young, haha. It seems like I don't have to worry about much now, but do college scores matter a lot with this kind of thing? I am going into high school, after all. And I keep getting told that "you need to study math, it will follow you for life" kind of stuff, but I already know advanced algebra, and I'm not sure if I'll need those skills for this kind of job I want. So is there any specific skill or subject or goal I should be studying or going for? Now or later on in life, including. And sorry about the long comment, but I do care about my future and how the score stands compared to my other fellow peers. Thanks so much for your time.

    2. College scores matter in that the better grades you get, the better your options for law schools. And math? Ha! That's one subject you can stop worrying about. I'm hopeless at it and can't remember the last time I needed anything more than fairly simple addition.

    3. Thanks so much for the advice! I'll subscribe to your blog and thanks again for all the help.


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