Some observations, some of a criminal nature, from the seaside.
1. If you want to smoke on the beach and bugger up the sea air don't do it near me and my kids. Especially when we got there first.
2. If #1 applies to you, covering your cigarette butt with two inches of sand is still littering.
3. The nearer they are to the ocean, the more some 7-year-old girls wish mermaids were real.
4. Because every wave is different, every wave needs jumping over.
5. Just because it says it's a "Dolphin Center," don't assume it has dolphins. You may, however, assume it has videos of dolphins. And if it's that kind of place, you should also know that "Suggested donation" is likely to mean "Mandatory entrance fee."
6. A mansion one block from the beach has nothing on a hovel directly on the beach.
7. The ten pounds I lost before this vacation have been picked up by other people. Several people, and several fold. I shouldn't be, but I am encouraged.
8. Boogie boarding counts as exercise. Especially on a red-flag day when the rip current is battering you like an egg in an omelette bowl.
9. A rip current is not the same thing as a rip tide.
10. It's a bad idea to take photos of your wife when she's boogie boarding and there's a rip current. Turns out the forces of nature propel wife one way, and her bikini bottoms another. Photographic confirmation of this phenomenon is scientifically relevant but maritally imprudent.
(No, that's not my wife. I'm not stupid.)