Many of you, faithful readers, are lawyers, and therefore many of you will be burdened by law school debt. My other, equally educated, readers no doubt have other forms of education debt.
To those of you living free from the shackles of the money-lenders: I salute you.
Now, I borrowed the money and I intend to pay it back. Slowly, yes, but I'll pay it back.
Okay, now that's all perfectly clear let me address those same money-lender: stop bloody calling me.
A polite request that I will repeat: Please, stop bloody calling me.
See, I was one day late making a payment. Less than that, actually, a few hours. And within hours they called me, asking me to pay up. So I did.
Since then, after I made the payment, they have called me sixteen times. After I made the payment.
So what I want to know is, if they know within hours that I haven't paid, how they hell can they not know for three days that I have paid?
I'll tell you what, it should be illegal.
Now, anyone want to lend me $150,000 so I can pay them off completely?
You'll get it back, I promise....
Showing posts with label Road rage and other rants. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Road rage and other rants. Show all posts
Monday, March 28, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Words, words, words - Get it right, media!
You might expect me to be picky about word usage, being a lawyer and a writer. You'd be right, I am. Some pet peeves include:
"There's less people here than last time." It's fewer. If you can count whatever you are talking about, i.e. there's a specific number, it's 'fewer.' So, "There are fewer grains of sand on this beach," but "There is less sand on this beach."
"Her and David took the train." No, she and David took the bloody train. Take away the "and David" and read it.
Similarly,
"He gave a ride to Peter and I." Again, take away the "Peter and" and then you'll get it right.
So why do I care? Well, maybe I shouldn't. After all, it's high blood pressure for nothing, right? But yesterday I saw, for the millionth time, the media screwing up one that I do care about, because it's more than incorrect word usage, it's a factual mistake:
Saturday afternoon in the streets of Paterson, N.J., [mixed martial artist] Jon Jones and his trainers applied their gym techniques when they spotted a robber, chased him down and subdued him.
Thank you Yahoo News. Except the dude wasn't a robber. At all. He was a car burglar.
Does it matter? Well, it sure as heck does if you're charged with the offense. I can't speak to California law, but in Texas if you are a first-time robber you are looking at 2-20 years in the penitentiary. If you use a weapon, you face 5 years to Life.
If, on the other hand, you commit burglary from a vehicle as a one-time lark you cannot receive more that a year in the county lock-up (where you will actually do six months).
All the reports of this incident use the word 'robbery.' Is it actually a robbery in California? No, it's a second degree burglary according to my cursory research. According to one website, "Second degree burglary is most frequently seen in connection with Penal Code 484 shoplifting offenses." Not exactly robbery, then.
Is it laziness on the part of the media? Yes, I think it is. Laziness and a desire to make the story as dramatic as possible.
And as a lawyer and former newspaper reporter, it bugs the heck out of I.
"There's less people here than last time." It's fewer. If you can count whatever you are talking about, i.e. there's a specific number, it's 'fewer.' So, "There are fewer grains of sand on this beach," but "There is less sand on this beach."
"Her and David took the train." No, she and David took the bloody train. Take away the "and David" and read it.
Similarly,
"He gave a ride to Peter and I." Again, take away the "Peter and" and then you'll get it right.
So why do I care? Well, maybe I shouldn't. After all, it's high blood pressure for nothing, right? But yesterday I saw, for the millionth time, the media screwing up one that I do care about, because it's more than incorrect word usage, it's a factual mistake:
Saturday afternoon in the streets of Paterson, N.J., [mixed martial artist] Jon Jones and his trainers applied their gym techniques when they spotted a robber, chased him down and subdued him.
Thank you Yahoo News. Except the dude wasn't a robber. At all. He was a car burglar.
Does it matter? Well, it sure as heck does if you're charged with the offense. I can't speak to California law, but in Texas if you are a first-time robber you are looking at 2-20 years in the penitentiary. If you use a weapon, you face 5 years to Life.
If, on the other hand, you commit burglary from a vehicle as a one-time lark you cannot receive more that a year in the county lock-up (where you will actually do six months).
All the reports of this incident use the word 'robbery.' Is it actually a robbery in California? No, it's a second degree burglary according to my cursory research. According to one website, "Second degree burglary is most frequently seen in connection with Penal Code 484 shoplifting offenses." Not exactly robbery, then.
Is it laziness on the part of the media? Yes, I think it is. Laziness and a desire to make the story as dramatic as possible.
And as a lawyer and former newspaper reporter, it bugs the heck out of I.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
One of those invisible days
Sometimes I want to use my powers for evil. Okay, not really evil but. . . revenge. In the moment, I tell myself I'd be doing the world a favor and that the people I would . . . "correct" deserve it.
But those days come when my superpowers are at their weakest, those days like today when I'm (apparently) invisible to the world. Do you have those days?
You do. I know you do. Because if you read this blog you are smart, intelligent, witty, and erudite, which means the evil MagmaSplotch who drives hate and selfishness into the spirits of men (and women) is after you, too. And occasionally gets you.
I see a hand raised over there. . . yes, what is your question? Oh, you want to know what I'm talking about.
I'm talking about the motorcyclist who swerved across two lanes to occupy the spot I was in, and then gesticulated in a manner most unpleasant, as if he'd reserved that patch of tarmac earlier in the day. I'm talking about the little green VW Bug that does not, in fact, fit into the small gap between me and the car in front of me, and wouldn't fit even if it had signaled. Which it didn't. I'm talking about the black Ford truck whose driver has the magical ability to conjure up a lane where the rest of us see nothing but hard shoulder. Such talent.
And most of all, I'm talking about the woman sitting quietly in her car as traffic drifts along, the woman who has made herself immune to my penetrating, fiery-hot, "glare of destruction." I know, I know, you can't imagine someone not suffering under that glare. I think I know why she was immune though: she was too busy applying eye-liner while watching the road while driving while taking sips of coffee from a regular (not travel) mug. Even more impressive talent. You can imagine how impressed I was when she lifted a bowl of cereal (I assume it wasn't soup) from the passenger seat and started feeding it into her mouth.
Lord knows what she would have done if her phone had rung. I suppose I should be grateful she wasn't driving a stick-shift. At least, I assume she wasn't.
On the plus side for today, when a defense lawyer approaches me in court this morning and says, "Hey, can we talk about my client's case? He's the one who shot three nuns while they were helping a blind Nobel Peace Prize winner across the street," I'll probably just say, "Oh, that's all he did?" and mean it.
But those days come when my superpowers are at their weakest, those days like today when I'm (apparently) invisible to the world. Do you have those days?
You do. I know you do. Because if you read this blog you are smart, intelligent, witty, and erudite, which means the evil MagmaSplotch who drives hate and selfishness into the spirits of men (and women) is after you, too. And occasionally gets you.
I see a hand raised over there. . . yes, what is your question? Oh, you want to know what I'm talking about.
I'm talking about the motorcyclist who swerved across two lanes to occupy the spot I was in, and then gesticulated in a manner most unpleasant, as if he'd reserved that patch of tarmac earlier in the day. I'm talking about the little green VW Bug that does not, in fact, fit into the small gap between me and the car in front of me, and wouldn't fit even if it had signaled. Which it didn't. I'm talking about the black Ford truck whose driver has the magical ability to conjure up a lane where the rest of us see nothing but hard shoulder. Such talent.
And most of all, I'm talking about the woman sitting quietly in her car as traffic drifts along, the woman who has made herself immune to my penetrating, fiery-hot, "glare of destruction." I know, I know, you can't imagine someone not suffering under that glare. I think I know why she was immune though: she was too busy applying eye-liner while watching the road while driving while taking sips of coffee from a regular (not travel) mug. Even more impressive talent. You can imagine how impressed I was when she lifted a bowl of cereal (I assume it wasn't soup) from the passenger seat and started feeding it into her mouth.
Lord knows what she would have done if her phone had rung. I suppose I should be grateful she wasn't driving a stick-shift. At least, I assume she wasn't.
On the plus side for today, when a defense lawyer approaches me in court this morning and says, "Hey, can we talk about my client's case? He's the one who shot three nuns while they were helping a blind Nobel Peace Prize winner across the street," I'll probably just say, "Oh, that's all he did?" and mean it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)