Monday, October 4, 2010

Such silly, silly people.

So I have a fairly new dedicated email address for the blog, after someone pointed out it was hard to contact me directly. I check it once or twice a week, I usually forget to do so. But I looked this morning and I think. . . think, maybe someone has stumbled into my lair, and may live to regret it.

Several someones.

First is Mrs Helen R Oscar. She would like me to help her redistribute $18 million in funds to various charities. Poor woman, she is childless and her husband died six years ago. And she was the president of Con Oil International. Yes, "Con Oil." I know what you're thinking, it's an ironic name, right?

Because I'm totally responding to her email, and I'm gonna steal her $18 million!

Next is Brenda Bosco, who says "sorry for my distraction and please patiently pay me a little attention."

Okay, I'm all ears.

"From my search of friendship i saw your contact and it really interest me to contact you and would like you to be real with me as I come to you with open mind, My coming to you is real and sincere."

Pffft, what a loser. I'm totally not sincere and I'm posting your message on my blog! She goes on:

"My coming to you is real and sincere. I believe you will see a clear picture of my true thoughts and aspirations."

Real and sincere? So, like, you're saying I have a chance with you? So cool!

"Remember; Age, Distance, nationality or color does not matter but true love matters in love."

Not sure what "true love matters in love" means, but overall the sentiment is quite true. The difficulty lies with falling in love with you as a result of one, grammatically-repulsive email.

So, in short, we have a con artist and a love-sick desperado targeting a married prosecutor.

A fine start to the week.


  1. Hey, from the Monday is complete with the announcement this morning that the Texas Department of Licensing and Regulation is now on both Facebook and Twitter. O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay! Now I can receive tweets about realtime viewing of the meetings of the Advisory Committee on Barbers.

  2. Love it!

    I tried stringing my 'Nigerian cousin' along to see how far I could get one time, agreeing the whole way, but he gave up after a couple of days. Never did get my money...

    I often wonder why I keep getting the emails for the 'Hot Asian Women Tonight!' when my name is clearly feminine and clearly not Asian.

    Enjoying your blog down here in Victoria.

  3. Donald: Facebook AND Twitter? Wow. I have nothing more to say about that. Nothing polite, anyway.

    And Edith Ann: you don't have to be male an Asian to . . . you know what? I'm going to stop there, too. :)

  4. I keep winning an international lottery I never bought a ticket for. I should be able to retire a very wealthy man if they'll ever pay me. :)

  5. Chris,

    You need to give them your bank account details, you silly person. How else can they pay you?? You know what, leave the info here and we'll see it gets done...


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