Sunday, March 18, 2012

A word in your ear

Do you like to play with words?  This came to me when I saw a donkey on TV with my female dog lying beside my chair.

And I have three little kids, one of whom was involved in a conspiracy with a neighbor's kid to write a rude word on a wipe-clean piece of plastic.  Which the little geniuses forgot to wipe clean.

But these things got me to thinking what store we put in words, good ones and bad, and how a single word, the exact same word, can be utterly harmless or hair-raisingly shocking.  Exhibit A:

"I met our neighbor today, Richard."
"Oh, cool.  Is he is a Rich, or a Richie, or..."
"No, he's a Dick."
"Excellent.  Is that his yard I can smell from here?"
"No, it's his ass."
"He has a donkey?"
"He sure does.  Chickens, too."
"Brilliant, I wonder if he'll give you some eggs."
"Probably, he already offered me his cock."
 "I see. Please explain."
"In case I want to have chickens, too.  He said I could borrow his rooster."
"Oh, phew.  But then I knew he was an animal lover, he and his wife."
"Oh, you saw his bitch?"
"I did.  His wife was walking her and the other labrador this morning."
"What were you doing out this morning?"
"Chasing my neighbor's pussy."
"It escaped again?"
"Yep.  Still on the loose, too."
"Well, you better find it.  Can't have your neighbor's pussy in with my neighbor's..."
"Oh right, that donkey might step on it."
"Precisely what I was going to say."

Offended?  I nearly am...


  1. Okay, you just earned yourself an entry in the O Henry Pun Off in May. You may now consider yourself morally obligated to participate after imposing that wretched exercise on your readers! Seriously. they have a 90 second prepared pun competition I think you'd find quite fun. It's a true gathering of wordsmiths and one of the only places you'll find punning worse than this. :) Best, sh

  2. Oh yes, I am totally in for something like this. Totally. :)


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