As a writer, I'm finely attuned to the use of language in my daily encounters. Or, maybe, being a righter I'm finally tuned to the utilization of wordiage.
Either way, I often come across tidbits and titbids (oooh, that sounds like an adult auction site) where someone in a hurry has mis-typed or said something without thinking. They won't be long posts, obviously, and I will always disguise the speaker.
We begin with a line from an offense report:
"Michael stated that he just wanted to leave the house for a bit and get some fresh hair on his bike."
A wonderful mental image to start the morning.