Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Here's a fun thing...

I was once asked by a fellow blogger - "What keyword searches are bringing people to your blog?" I had no idea whatsoever, but I run a program that tells me.

Weird.

Here are a few of those searches, tucked into a vague attempt to categorize.

1. The sordid, almost sexy searches:
"documentary la da and innocent spousal relief" (I was bored until I got to the last phrase. But can someone please explain?)
"bodily fluid assault on civilians" (Okay, sordid and not at all sexy.)

2. Questions:
"can probation officers spy on you?" (Paranoid questions, although the answer is "yes.")
"has anyone ever been on probation in texas" (Stupid questions. Again: yes.)
"how much does an assistant d.a. make" (Nosy questions. $18,00 a year. Plus tips.)

3. Legal advice wanted:
"lie about your age on college application" (a. Did my blog answer your question? and b. How did that work out?)
"how to get a good prosecutor" (see last answer in section above)

4. About the DA's office:
"describe a good prosecutor" (tall, blue eyes, English accent...)
"gary cobb seattle bad idea" (Gary is, in fact, the definition of a "good prosecutor." So I can only assume this was a search by a defendant in Seattle. Or something.)

5. The nonsense search. Not only do I have NO idea what these people were looking for, I have less idea why these searches brought them here:
"alphasmart neo" (And betablocker biz-natch to you.)
"breakfast in bed da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da" (maybe I'd be that happy if I got breakfast in bed.)
"confidential working draft toilet while" (while what? I don't want to know, do I?)


3 comments:

  1. HAHAHA! I love these. I think alpasmart neo is my fave, followed closely by the probation officer question.

    Thanks for the laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  2. ITA with Kirsten on the probation officer... um... really?! Hysterical stuff. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. The good news? Mystery solved: if you sing the da's just right after "breakfast in bed" you'll note they add up to the number of da's in the theme of Batman (the 60s TV show).

    da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da Da Da!

    The bad news? I'm pretty sure that admitting I noticed that/worked that out in my head is some sort of admission that I'm a moron.

    ReplyDelete

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