Monday, March 8, 2010

Scouring the world for criminal news

We'll start Down Under... not the big Down Under with the shrimp on the barbie, but the small one that comes in two parts and has little kids who get sent to jail cells for pulling girl's hair.

Now back home, where Texas spring breakers will be breaking from tradition, if the cops have anything to do with it: No more Mexico!

Something fishy about this story: a heavy-set woman (presumably not very fast moving then) steals bags of coffee from a donut shop. . . but no cop is on scene to nab her? As if. . . !

I suppose if you have to have a burglar, you want one who breaks in just to eat and take a shower. What you don't want is to show up during the shower part. (Notice how happy he looks to be in clean prison scrubs.)

If you new neighbor claims to be from the planet Zambodia and says is 333 years old, you might even be relieved when the weirdest he gets is to hang women's underwear and pile up sand outside his house. I'm not even sure these things are illegal. Except being here from Zambodia without a proper visa.

I'll just have a cup of coffee, please. No, I mean it: coffee not "coffee."

Ask, and ye shall receive.

Amid the criminal news, and because this is a blog where writing is routinely honored, we find an example of illiteracy-related ironic-ness: a man who writes like an alien holding a dictionary, and apparently reads like an alien holding a dictionary upside-down. Not that I'm Shakespeare, but then I'm also not responsible for edumacating 90,000 children.

I have to believe that the brave men and women of law enforcement, with whom I work every day, are just as brave as the cops in Germany who face all manner of deadly (and heavenly?!) weapons in the course of duty:
"Daringly, and with the occupier's permission, one of the officers opened the drawer of a wardrobe where the noise was coming from. Underneath some clothes he found a very personal, battery-operated object which had obviously switched itself on... The tenant's face abruptly changed color."
My first thought (okay, second): Really? It switched itself on?

And finally, the escaping inmate who says, "Nyah-nyah, you can't catch me. . . . [pause for splashing sound]. . . Help me! Help me! I'm sinking!!"

Happy Monday all!

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