Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Budget cuts and my new secretary

They didn't warn me that my secretary was leaving. She got a better job, higher pay (decent boss?!).

They did tell me it'd be a while until she was replaced, what with all the budget cuts, the economic crisis in government and all that. And they were right, it was a while, because she left before Christmas.

But the new girl is here now, and maybe that's all that matters. She's here, tucked behind her desk, ready to go.


The thing is.

She's totally bloody useless.

Sure, she looks good, she has nice hair, and no matter what I say to her she doesn't get offended. She doesn't mind having the most horrific crime scene pictures come across her desk. But try to get her to actually do something?

Maybe fax or file something?

Absolutely. Bloody. Useless.

Meet. . . shoot, she won't even tell me her name. Any suggestions?!


  1. Don't call your secretary (real or fake) a girl, unless you actually are hiring a child.

  2. I appreciate your humor--and humor aside, you make a good point. For those of your readers who would accuse prosecutor offices of being bloated with employees: The last case management software I helped design in the U.S. had as a specific requirement that it allow the prosecutors to do all of their own word processing--including drafting all legal documents. There just wasn't enough secretarial support to keep the lawyers from doing their own clerical work. That's pretty typical. I also note that in Massachusetts the average prosecutor is paid about $40,000/year. To prosecute. And to type.


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