Wednesday, December 9, 2009

In other news....

I've been posting my own stuff rather than feeding on the work of others for a week or two. But some things are just too tempting to resist.

By now, my faithful reader will know that assaulting a family member can rise to the level of a felony. Serious business. But what happens when one spouse is okay with the other practicing her kung-fu on him? Not just okay with it, but contracts for it? I know, it reminds me of Cato in the Pink Panther movies, the chappie who'd spring up at the most awkward moments to attack Peter Sellers. I guess this is the real life version.

When I was working as a reporter in England, I remember one of the county police forces adopting a positive reinforcement technique to encourage good driving. Basically, the officer would see someone driving well, follow them for a bit to make sure, then pull them over. Instead of a ticket, the driver would get a certificate signed by some muckity-muck high up the chain that thanked them for being a safe driver. I have no idea whether it worked, but they are trying something similar in New Zealand, apparently. Using liqorice.

Talking of New Zealand, my recommendation as a friend, rather than a prosecutor, is that if you are smuggling animals into a country you should not take a long-haul flight. Especially when those animals are slithery. And in your undies.

Now a moment of silence for a 146-year-old who just passed, someone famous for his romantic endeavors. And yes, he was French.

A colleague and I recently consulted a psychiatrist when we were preparing to try a murder case. I frequently talk to fingerprint analysts, DNA specialists, and occasionally hand-writing experts. What I obviously need to do, if I want to remain a prepared prosecutor, is add one more category of expert to my rolodex: the warlock. Anyone know where I can find one?

And to end with, a sketch done by our own, hugely talented, Donna Crosby. Now, remember that the sketchpad adds ten pounds and that she purposefully made me less handsome than I really am. It's very clever artistic technique known as "charcoal irony," as if to say, "He's too handsome to be portrayed as he really is. He doesn't really have a big nose."
No, it's true. Quite brilliant, really.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Comments posted to this blog are NOT the opinion of the Travis County D.A.'s office, under any circumstances. They are only the personal, non-representative opinion of D.A. Confidential if posted under his name.
I welcome all comments, as long as they are expressed with politeness and respect. I will delete all comments that I deem to be personal attacks, or that are posted merely to antagonize or insult.