Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Kill me? Just try it.... (and other tales)

Okay, with all this serious talk we've been doing lately about juries, the pros and cons, the various alternatives, it's time for me to flip you around the internet and entertain you with tales of high humor and, maybe, low hilarity.

And because we are nearing Christmas, we don't need to dwell on the death and destruction that still stalks our planet. No, instead we should go backwards in time and look at some people who died, sure, and yes, horribly, but they went down swinging. Now, I always knew Rasputin was an absolute bugger to knock off but it turns out he wasn't the only one to make his killers work for it. Check this out for pirates, priests, and other peeps who were absurdly hard to kill.

True story: one of our prosecutors is handling a theft case in which the defendant is alleged to have stolen some laundry detergent. I suggested to my colleague he was hoping for a clean getaway (yes, she groaned). But maybe it's the season: this thief in Tyler was actually in the bath when nabbed. I picture the cop walking into the bathroom and giving him a tap on the shoulder. Tap. On the shoulder. Geddit?!

Finally, some helpful advice (non-legal) from your friendly prosecutor -- you may have won The War all those years ago, and you may have dumped a few bags of the Good Stuff into some harbor somewhere. But we Brits do know something: tea can help prevent diabetes (okay, coffee can too). Now to find a good reason to keep buttering those crumpets.

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